This is Fu@#ing hilarious... Go to Google.com and do a search for "Failure" and check out the first link! This is the stuff I find when I can't sleep and browse around blogs... Props to Azriha's post on it! Time to crash now...

PS If you do a search of the page, there's no presence of the word "failure" there, but it still hits the top of Googles search... kinda makes you wonder about him...

Corporate lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings.
After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says," I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me?"


Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with your stockeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable Exposure!


Corporate lesson 2


A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthy fully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again Said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. " Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."


Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity!


Corporate Lesson 3


Lower managers and staff of the company usually play Football.
The middle level managers are more interested in Tennis.
The top level management usually has a preference for Golf.


Finding: As you go up the corporate ladder, your balls reduce in size



Last thing, since I'm logged into live journal anyway.

A few days ago, I was on the train on the way to work. I'm sitting down bored outta my mind as usual, and I notice a pair of ladies sit down across from me. They're probably in their late 20's or so and casually dressed. One pulls out her make up and starts applying it. Whatever... I go back to doing my puzzle. Every time I look up, she's still at it. Twenty minutes later, they get up. And the one putting on the makeup looked exactly the same as when she got on...

I'm guessing I'm just blind...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/brooklyntyger/

One day a farmer's donkey fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

Realizing what was happening, the donkey at first cried and wailed horribly. Then, a few shovels full later, he quieted down completely. The farmer peered down into the well, and was astounded by what he saw. With every shovel full of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up on the new layer of dirt.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock and astonishment of all the neighbors!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to not let it bury you, but to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping-stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred.

Free your mind from worries.

Live simply.

Give more.

Expect less.

Finally, the donkey walked over and kicked the living crap out of the farmer that tried to bury him. Which brings us to the other moral of this story:

When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back and gets you.

Procrastinating as usual.

Anyway, have you ever got stuck in an elevator?

I just did, for a minute or two. I got on the elevator, same one's I use like every day to get to my part time job at the library, and I hit the button for the 7th floor. The doors closed, but the elevator didn't move. I stare at the 7th floor button and it's lit up. I press it again just to see what happens. Nothing.

So I'm like, "if I get stuck in the elevator, and I can't get to my final,"which at that time was about three hours away, "does that count as an emergency and I get a makeup exam?" I smiled and got more realistic and began to wonder how long I should wait before I called my boss and tell her I'm stuck in the elevator.

After thinking for about 10 seconds or so, the door opened and someone walked in. Door closed and it worked normally again.

I took my exam.

Next post whenever I'm procrastinating again and get really bored.

Since people are bugging me to update for some odd reason, here's what I got to say:

Stikfas are fun... Oddly addictive

www.stikfas.com

I got:

http://www.stikfas.com/images/prod_dragon01.jpg
http://www.stikfas.com/images/prod_monk01.jpg
http://www.stikfas.com/images/prod_fire01.jpg
http://www.stikfas.com/images/prod_blackm01.jpg

I'm waiting for:

http://www.stikfas.com/images/prod_robot01.jpg
http://www.stikfas.com/images/prod_deltaex01.jpg
http://www.stikfas.com/images/prod_k901.jpg

Next to get:

http://www.stikfas.com/images/prod_omegamilitary01.jpg
http://www.stikfas.com/images/prod_sam01.jpg
http://www.stikfas.com/images/prod_phantom01.jpg

Sad sad sad... i'm gonna go play with my toys now...

PS.. sorry for the lame links... to lazy to edit in html

A few things.

First, does anyone know any easy reads on quantum physics?

Second, yesterday, right when class started, the fire alarm went off. It was kinda quite since the door was closed. So the prof continues lecturing. Someone opens the door and the prof finally notices that the alarm is going off. "It's probably just a false alarm. Does anyone mind if I keep teaching?" Of course, we don't say anything. Meanwhile, I mumble to the guy next to me "Watch us all burn to a toast here." So he keeps teaching for a few more minutes, and some girl pops the door open, looks in, and says to the prof "Uh... you know there really is a fire?" Hehe... What did I just say? So a few people laughed, and the prof said "I guess we should all get out." Funny thing is that no one really ran for the door. We just all took our time getting our books and stuff together, packed our bags, and wandered out. I did notice a burning smell around the cafeteria on the third floor. The whole time, I had a stupid rhyme in my head

(to the tune of london bridges falling down)
All the school is burning down,
all around, burning down.
All the school is burning down
whoops-e-daisy....

So I got out and had a really early dinner. After dinner, I went back and everything was back to it's normal crappy self.

Procrastinating... I just started thinking about fate again because of Cindy's blog. So this is a dedicated to her(don't you feel special Cindy?). =)

I believe in fate. But in a very non-romantic sense. I don't believe there is a higher power dictating what happens. I believe in the "1+1=2" kind of fate.

What the heck do I mean by that? Here's a discussion I had with Ting a few years ago. Let's say I have an object, which I drop. It falls from point "a" to point "c." It is fated to do so. Now Ting argued that what if someone was to intercept the object before it hit point "c" and therefore changed its' fate? Well, that would mean that you did not take the complete system into consideration. My first assumption was that the system was a closed system consisting of just the object and points "a" and "b." But the new system would include the person intercepting the object at point "c." That new person becomes a variable in the system that you must account for.

What's the point of this argument? It means that objects (and energy) behave in specific ways. If there is a result that we see that is unexpected, it means that there are variables that we don't see working or don't understand. Regardless, they obey certain rules of behavior. People point out that quantum physics have a degree of randomness to it. My argument is that it is not random. It only appears random because we do not yet understand how they operate.

So how does this apply? Well, our bodies are basically, bio-mechanical systems. And as such, they obey the laws of science. Each and every action has a predictable reaction. Chemicals follow certain behaviors. Fluids follow certain behaviors. Now although our ability to predict those actions may be extremely limited, they are still follow rules of behavior. So I like to compare our minds to computers. We are programmed from conception and we are constantly updating our programming with new inputs on a continual basis. Our output, our thoughts and reactions, are all based on our crunching of data we receive and the results that our programs spit out. We have a perception of choice. We have the notion that we can make decisions. And in a way we do. Our decisions are based on our elaborate programs. We are never the same person. In a period of one second, our program analyses new inputs and evolves and processes new information based on the newly evolved program. We are constantly changing. Even in an aparent time where there is no interaction, the body is never in statsis and continues to crunch data stored in memory. Since there is always heat energy(assuming the person is alive), there is always entropy, and bio-chemical reactions are always taking place. Each reaction can be described as fate. But not in a romantic sense at all(unless you have a really weird attraction to science).

One argument is that God gives us the power of choice. After bringing up my argument about dropping an object from point "a" to point "b," they usually still insist that we have the power to defy that. I always like to point out that we are still making choices that are fated. First, I usually like to point out that even though you don't understand something, it doesn't mean that it doesn't follow a set of rules. If it appears that we can defy some known law of physics, it means that either we haven't identified all the variables, or that we just don't understand that aspect of physics enough yet to predict it. The other point I like to make is that given a choice, you are still ultimatly fated to make the decision you "chose" to make. Let's say in a coin flip, you can chose either heads or tail. You like to think you have a choice. But what ever logic goes through your head, it ultimatly leads to your final choice. You can liken it to a domino effect. The question is the initial dominio. The dominos in between are the various thoughts. The last domino is the final decision. It just falls one after the other.

If all our reactions are not by our choice, then why bother deceiving ourselves in thinking that we have a choice? And what about criminal justice? Well, first of all, our minds are innately programmed into thinking we have a choice. Our program runs as if we have a choice. Our program dictates our thought patterns and that appears as if we have a choice. As to the criminal justice issue, how can we imprison someone who was fated to commit a crime? Easy. The consequences of his actions, and the resulting effects will affect others. If their program is liable to recreate the same crime, and they see there is no consequence to that crime, they are liable to take the same course of actions. By imprisoning the perpetrator, we are creating an output that affects other individuals program to state that there are consequences to this series of actions. In addition to that, we don’t know the future events of the perpetrator. We cannot predict the future. So we cannot know what his individual programming will do if he is not punished for his crimes. There are simply too many variables to calculate.

If you've been bored enough to read my rant all the way through up to this point, you might as well comment on how crazy I am. =)

ARGH!!!! #(*@&#$^*%(!!!!!!! DAMN FRIGGIN GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

So... this morning, I got back my Advanced Accounting test I took last week. Two long answer problems we had to work out. I did the first one easily, stumbled on the second one. So I didn't think I did too bad... 70 at worst. My Prof starts saying stuff about how she was plesantly surprised at the high class average, something like 86. But it was a skewed bell curve. Like 8 people got a 100, which pulled the average up.
So anyway, she starts handing out the tests, and when she calls me, I go up and get my paper. I keep it folded up until I get back to my seat. I open it up and in nice big red letters (and circled), I see "20." Of course, my stomach drops and I break out into a cold sweat. I start freaking out. I rip open the blue book and start flipping through to see what she wrote. The first question was nothing but checks. So I'm confused as hell by now. "how the heck did I get a 20 if I got the first one right? Isn't it 50 points each question?" The second question had red marks all over the latter half of the answer... that was expected. But I was still confused as shit.
A minute of more nerve-racking sweating and cursing later, my prof says "Oh, by the way, the scores are out of 25." to which I sub-vocally replied "WHY THE F#*$ DIDN'T YOU MENTION THAT EARLIER. I F&$^(*^ ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK!!!"

Erf....

Yesterdays breakfast: Sour Cream and Onion flavored Pringles, homegrown Cherry tomatoes, some more Pringles, and a glass of milk. Four people gave me funny looks when I told them that.

More free writing stuff from my english class. Just to try to put these topics into perspective, they're topics selected by the prof. and is centered around themes in a book by the name of The Woman Warrior, which is by Maxine Hong Kingston.

Free writing topic: mothers

The first thing that comes to mind about mothers is the word sacred. They are in a way holy. Upheld in society on a pedastl. Afterall, everyone has a motehr. Even the pope. But on the other end of the spectrum are mothers who neglect their perceived holy duties. Motehrs that abandon their charges. Mothers like Peg Bundy on "Married with Children" or mothers that abandon their childern in dumpsters. But the mother figure remains in society. many cultures worship the mother figure such as Mother Mary and Motehr Nature. They are awe isnpiring and nurturing. People of passion and concern. They are those who brought us into this world and raised us, instilling the valuble lessons about society.

Topic: Culture shock

Dorming is probably my only major experience with culture shock so far. Being thrown miles away from home into a strange enviroment that was odd to me was a bit unsetteling, but I adoptes quickly, being that it was from one American culture to anotehr. I cannot really say that I understand the feeling. Living in New York has expsoed me to so many different cultures that I cannot really experience culture shock with in these borders of the United States.

But sometimes I wonder what it's going to be like when my parents drag me to China to visit their homeland. I Fear the day where I'm going to be lost in the streets of China, Not knowing the language, Not knowing the customs, not knowing the streets. All my street Knowledge from grwoing up in New York would be tossed out the window and useless. I would have to cling on to my parents who would become my guide to a world they grew up in. I would watch them act with ease and grace they lacked in the States.

I fear the inevidible day they'll drag me to visit. I fear the feeling of helplessness. I fear the feeling of ignorance and scron I'll feel eminating from the natives. And when the day comes that my parents ask me to go with them, I'm going to grab on to the nearest tree and cling on for dear life.

I got bored and did a quick browse through my livejournal, and I noticed that my posts use to be a lot more amusing back then, then they are now.... Wow... I'm growing up to be a boring old snot...

Really lousy morning yesterday....

First, the N train takes forever to come. I assume it was because of the downpours. Found out today it rained three inches during the morning commute alone. The platform was mad crowded and then when the train came, people had to cram in like sardines. Then train went local. Mad slow. Train leaves 59th street in Brooklyn, and then just stops in the tunnel. 10 minutes of nothing. Then the train conductor announces that the tunnels are flooded and the trains are delayed. Woop de doo.... Another 10 minutes of nothing. Then the conductor announces that the train in front of us has a sick passenger and is waiting for medical assistance. yay...

Meanwhile, the train is heating up from all the people in it, and everyone is getting grumpy. In addition to that, some fat orca of a bitch (pardon the profanity, i just need to vent) decides to whip out her phone and take pictures of all the people around her!!! Friggin pissed me off!!! She had some stupid Nokia phone and was blatantly aiming it up towards peoples faces. I made it obvious that I was quite unpleased when I glared at her. She aimed away from me.

Then after another 10 minutes of mind boggling boredom, she pulls out what I thought was a thick ass first generation portable CD player. Ended up to be a cheap portable DVD player. Two really stupid things. First of all, she was watching recorded episodes of "Peoples' Court." It blew my mind that she knew how to burn that onto DVD. Secondly, she was using a remote control even though the thing was resting on her huge as stomach. She actually had to scrunch up her arm so she could aim it at the IR port!!! Then her batteries died and I laughed. =) Anyway, I ended up getting to school after three hours instead of the normal one hour.

Anyway, now that I got that out of the way, onto a more pleasant subject. I'm taking an english class, "Survey of Asian American Lit." The Prof is really cool, and he has us doing some free writing for about 5 minutes every class. Kinda like free association. So he gives us a topic, and we just write what comes to mind. So considering that I'm an accounting major, I was kinda surprised at how decent my free writing came out the first time. So I decided to post it here just for the heck of it. Here's the first two classes free writing.

Topic: Memories

Memories are what I base my life around. They are what guide me through everyday. The pains, pleasures, awkwardness, sorrows and every other sensation, built who I am today. I am my memories. What didn't kill me yet only made me stronger. What I discovered that made me happy only made me want to keep going and see what's around the corner in life. Sometimes I spend days remembering, but sometimes weeks go by where I just live in the moment, storing my experiences for future times to come. Sometimes I find myself blabbing to my friends about what happened to me in the past only to realize that I've been talking nonstop about myself. But those memories are important to me. They make me what I am today, and will always be a part of me.

Topic: fairy tales

Fairy tales are stories of old. Goldilocks and the Three Bears, The Three Little Pigs, Pinocchio. All these stories were made to entertain. Vivid images of animals that acted as humans. A sly fox that kills a grandmother to take on her appearance to eat her grandchild, three bears that eat porridge and sleep in beds, a toy puppet that comes to life with a cricket as a conscious. We tell these tales to children and we expect them to be able to distinguish them as just stories. Disney makes cartoons of them and children fantasize about visiting them at Disney World. Parents oddly enough encourage this, sometimes wanting themselves to live in this world of make believe. But time goes on and soon enough, children grow up and realize that they are just stories. No truth, no facts, no solidity. But when they grow up, they continue to pass those stories on.

You know how sometimes your mind would wander from subject to subject? And you'd think.. "how the heck did I start thinking about this in the first place?"

Well, on the way home from Boston, there was this loud ass bus driver... Yapping away in chinese on his hands free set. Annoyed the shit out of me. But I kept thinking "this is what I have to put up with if I want a 10 buck ride back to NYC." Not too bad of a deal when you look at it that way.

Anyway, cuz of his loud yapping, it piqued my curiosity to see what phone he was using. I saw that it was a Nextel. But cuz he was using his hands free, I didn't know if he was using his "push to talk" thingie. So I started thinking: "how can he use the push to talk if both his hands are on the wheel? I doubt it's voice activated... but that would be cool if it was. So if it's voice activated, could he train his phone to recognize commands in chinese? Well, since this is the US, and if they have voice recognition, then it would be adapted for english speakers. But if you were to code it for chinese, wouldn't it be easier? Chinese is tonal, and I remember hearing somewhere that people growing up with chinese as their primary language can reproduce words correctly to the point that they seem to have perfect pitch. So with just tones and syllables, i'm sure it's easy to distinguish between the major commands needed. But wait, if chinese is tonal and speakers have perfect pitch, how come so many chinese speaking people can't sing for shit? Like my dad? How come he always sings off key? and so damn bad?!? Weird... now how the heck did I start thinking about singing?"

Oh, this was a condensed version of what i was thinking. yeah... weird...

Haven't updated in a while...

First thing first, I GOT A NEW COMPUTER!!!! Well, not yet.. but I placed and order and it's shipping out tomorrow!!! Whoo hoo!!! Actually, it's a cheap ass Dell Laptop, but it's bang for the buck. And compared to the laptop I'm using now, it should be lighter, more powerful, and most importantly: more stable.

Second, I got bored and took an online IQ test, and it has got to be wrong cuz i know my IQ ain't that high.

Thank you for taking the IQ Test at www.IQTest.com.

We are confirming that your IQ Test score was: 146


IQ Score Cognitive Designation Possessors
Below 75 Learning difficulty
75 - 85 Below Average
85 - 114 Average Middle school graduates
115 - 124 Above average High school graduates
125 - 134 Gifted University graduates
135 - 144 Highly gifted Professionals
145 - 154 Genius Professors/Researchers
155 - 164 Genius Nobel Prize Winners
165 - 179 High genius
180 - 200 Extraordinary genius

One of my friends just told me she Frenched for 5 hours... To which I relpyed "what the?!?!" Holy moley.....

Sad to say, I think i got schooled by a eight year old today....

Me in a comfy couch in the lounge section of a bar/club/lounge. Oldies playing in the background... Sober... Sober girl in the left arm, sober girl in the right arm. Laying back and relaxing for hours. Then we all got up and the dream ended. Or was it a dream? More details after I stop crying... =( *WAH!!!!!* Crap, of to go volunteer at UEAA. *SOB!!!*

Wow... test driving cars is fun as hell! Went to some GM sponsored event at the Colluseum. They had a whole bunch of cars up for test drives to the general public. All you had to do was show your ID, fill some forms out, and line up for the car you want to drive. Each type of car (SUV, Sedan, Truck, Sports car) had a closed circuit track to drive. No speed limit (at least it wasn't enforced). =) hehe... kinda fun having a SUV tilting over 30 degrees while you hang a tight turn.

My parents were there picking out a new car to buy to replace our current, very underpowered one. So they wanted a SUV for the typical "safty" reasons, and storage too. So, of course, since the tracks are so short, we really had to push it to it's limits to get a feel of its performance *ahem.* I just wish the tracks were longer. It was actually kinda hard to make the tires squeel. Floored the gas on multiple occasions. Anyway, Lemme see if I can remember what I tried out... Malibu Max (the only sedan), Jeep Liberty, Saturn Vue, GMC Envoy and Envoy XUV, Ford Explorer, Chevy Equinox, and a few others... shoot... getting old.

Know what I gotta learn?

I gotta learn to distinguish between when someone is really drunk, or when someone is using alcohol as an excuse to act stupid. Either way, it was quite amusing last night.

Oh well... hiking mad fun. I think I'm a walking fool, cuz I walked all day yesterday. Went on a longer trail... Possibly 4 miles.. Higher elevation. Hit peak at 1450 feet. If that wasn't torture enough, after dinner, I went to hang out. Went from east side to west side to east side, north and south... everywhere.... probably added another good 5 miles of walking. And i'm still up and running.

Went to KFC today to pick up some food for dinner. Noticed a really stupid sign. In a small add for their new Oven Roasted Strips Combo, all the way at the bottom, it states "Contains 100% of RDA of Sodium" Last I checked, too much sodium is bad for you....